How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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The Pope, Queen Elizabeth and a schoolboy are on a plane that is going to crash. It crashes and they all die instantly.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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Turn your Caps Lock off, people think you're yelling at them, Stephen Hawking.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven had diarrhea

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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Why did Anna fall off her bike? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Anna.

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A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

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Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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What do you call a black man that works in a church A priest

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why did the dog bark at the picture because it was ugly

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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