One afternoon, a man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my youngest son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my second son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my oldest son is gay." the man replies. "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?." the bartender asks. The man thinks about it. "Yeah, my wife."

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

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What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

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Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack, due to her poor eating habits.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

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hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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a plane crashes on the boarder of america and mexico where do you bury the survivors. you dont bury the surviors

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Q: Why did the little boy drop his toy? A: He fell and broke his wrist, then dropped it in the emergency room, due to the broken wrist.

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What did the Jew say to the Catholic? Nothing. He is a mute you insensitive moron!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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Whats worse than one jew. Ben rike

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Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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