what do asians do in asian history month, nothing, it does not exist, hahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -29

whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? being wrongly accussed of a crime you didnt commit because of your race, and being put on death row

thumb_up thumb_down -29

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating But there are several other very important differences Between human beings and animals that you should know about I'd appreciate your input Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory" So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files" Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what did the farmer do? plant

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what happened to Timmy when he fell off his bike? CANCER.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -31

If I have a penny, and I give it to Michael Jackson, What will he do with it? Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why didn't the girl make the basketball team? She has no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I rated up my joke then opened a new tab went to Anti-Jokes.com and rated it again. Problem antijokes?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's worse than the holocaust? An open-minded black man.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops