Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Your face is hilarious.

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It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

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What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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whats worse tan loosing checkers getting lit on fire

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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what does a gay horse eat heeyyyyy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Whats worse then the quote "Do it, hit her!" The quote "Do it, Hitler!"

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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Why did the cookie die Because a fat kid was hungry

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Hello? Hi. Who is this? Yo mom. Your not my mom. Im the Irish man that did your mom.

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John, Where are you John: Here! Where's here? John: nevermind

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb? Depending on your religious belief and the variation in evolutionary growth, a full study on the answer would require immense time and be very costly. I would also not feel comfortable providing an answer based on opinion or estimated guess. The answer is therefor be inconclusive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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