why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

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What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

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Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

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whats funnier than a dead musim? a guy who begs a girl to go out with him for 16 hours

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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What is the same about fries chicken and watermelon? There both delicious.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? You. You who? You should be drug out into the street and shot. Whoever you are, I will find you.

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I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

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What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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roses are reddish voilets are blueish if it weren't for christmas we'd all be jewish

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Lucas talks to mom she says hi

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I like cookies... GIVE ME ICE CREAM.

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Who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? The same Griffin Kid.

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How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

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Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

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What ever happened to the bartender that asked, "Why the long face?" He was punched hard on the face for asking a stupid cliche!

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Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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