What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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A beautoful poem: Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun! gimme all your money!

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what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

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Why did the man die? because he hit his head and drowned

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why was sally bleeding? they never buy band-aids over her nubs.

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Why did Superman cross the road? I dunno.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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I couldnt remember who Rhiana used to date. Then it hit me.

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What is black, white, and red all over? The Wall

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why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

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Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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dyslexics of the world untie!

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I saw a bull go into a public toilet and defacitate! Bullshit!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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