two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why didn't the girl make the basketball team? She has no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q:What's the greatest part about having sex with twenty five year old girls? A: There's 20 of them

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's brown and sticky? A Stick!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

thumb_up thumb_down -33

hi jonny

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a man with one ear? A one-eared man.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Hej Erik och Leo!!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a boy with no arms or legs and an eyepatch? names...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I had a friend named Joshua, he died of AIDs, cancer, and several other diseases.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because seven "eight" nine. Yeah, I went there.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

The joke below was so funny I forgot to laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops