-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

Even better if I am not here in an hour, lets make it two huh?, I was thinking about you, sleep is well, not something I prioritize well enough at all, probably why I am so adrenaline crazy.

What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

Why are all of the cars in the left lane? Because you are in Winona MN.

The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy This song doesn't rhyme PENIS

What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

Three jews walked into a bar I lied, it was a gas chamber

people magazine

What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

A hispanic man eats a taco and enjoys. He is kicked in the nuts 2 months later.

I called your friend gay and he hit me with his fist because he was angry at me for using gay in a derogatory way.

Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

Why didnt timmy go to the party Mom said no

Why don't nuns wear bras? Because god supports everything!

Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

Why did the woman drop her keys? She was being raped.

why was sally bleeding? they never buy band-aids over her nubs.

What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

who can beat up superman doomsday, duh, he killed him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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