What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

two muffins were in an oven, one muffin said to the other, " ohmygod! its so hot in here!" the other muffin said,"AHHHHHH!!!! its a talking muffin!!"

Reading books

A man walks into a bar. Wait, no, it was a horse. A man walks into a horse

roses are red violets are blue i am muslim

What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

What do you do when your phone goes off in class? Stay behind after class whilst the teacher takes off his pants and tells you do bend over a desk. This is your punishment.

wanna hear a joke? me niether.

Bob: What's red and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A red ding-a-ling? Bob: Yes. What's blue and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A blue ding-a-ling? Bob: No, they only come in red.

Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

What do you call a black man with a gun? A cop

what did hitler say before he turned on the gas who are you calling a dick dina

How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

what did the guy say before he went to kill the other guy? Im killing you

What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

There was a jew, a german and you Despite you were there, the holocaust was You should feel guilty

what's purple and plastic purple plastic

Have you read Shakespeare? Dunno. Who wrote it? Shakespeare.

How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...