What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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What do a bike and a human have in common they are both objects

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

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There were two chippendales in a bar - what were their nicknames? Chip and Dale

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How many black teachers does it take to figure out 10 x 30. only one shes a very respected teacher

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Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

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What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

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if a man is alone in the forest, and there are no women around to hear him...........is he still wrong?

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How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

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Q: Why does Bill Gates give so much money to charity? A: Because he wants to improve the lives of his fellow human beings, and also excessive wealth would be detrimental to his children.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

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Your moma's so fat, she has a considerable list of medical health problems, and she is very miserable.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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