How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

What is the diffrence between a monkey... An apple because the more the much. :) :| :| :|

Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

Hi

Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

Why did the boy fall out of the plane. Because the plane was on fire.

What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

A blonde, ginger, and brunette took the SAT. They all performed successfully and were admitted into their colleges of choice.

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. What's not pink and fluffy? Rape.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

Hello Braydon I am at home where are you?

roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

what do a parrot and a hippo have in common? i want to kill every non white human being!!!!

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

more chocolate?

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

A blind man accidentally walks into a gay bar. The bartender escorted him out and pointed him in the right direction.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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