Q:Whats worse than you touching yourself at night A: The holocaust

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Q:What's better than getting 500 million dollars A:Nothing

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Sally." "Go away, Sally. I told you I am not interested." Kevin slammed the door on his colleague, as Sally proceeded to find somebody else and move on with her life. Kevin later in life became a drug addict, and got thrown in jail. Sally got married and had four kids, and while she feels bad for Kevin, she is happy with her life.

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Yo momma's so fat, she had a heart attack and is currently hospitalized.

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What does andy and burger king have in common? Nothing, thats why she is now banging josh!

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Santa Claus is so hairy he need to shave more often.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

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Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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Knock knock Who's there? Not you

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

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Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

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Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

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What's the square root of 69 Jimmy? Square root of 69 is 8 something right? Cus I've been trying to work it out oh. Jimmy! It's 8.306623863 >.

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? -A pilot

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Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

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did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

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why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

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Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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