Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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Your mother is so average in weight and in attractiveness.

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies? girl scouts

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Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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You know what is worse than being dead...being at a Justin Bieber concert

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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My parents have an open marriage.

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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What's funny about a car accident involving three children, a widow, and a dog? Nothing.

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Where does the Queen of England live? England.

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Hitler walks into a temple..... Oh wait he died

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I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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What's the difference between Michael J. Fox and a blender? Michael J. Fox is a successful actor starring in many movies, and a blender is a kitchen appliance.

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( . Y . )

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it hit a poll and died of brain damage the next day

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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your mama's so fat... that's it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops