What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

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I was playing Black Ops online, my wife turned it off in the middle of the game....I killed her

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Your Momma is so old, she started exercising more and eating healthier to increase the chance of her living long enough to enjoy your own children's lives.

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tuna fish dolphins sharks idk

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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There was once a guy who was so crazy...he was sectioned.

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What do you call a white man takeing orders from a black man? Batman and robin

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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That awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it would.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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What happened to Liam? He Died.

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how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a psychopath, that's why.

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

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Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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Why did the meme cross the road? MEME XD

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Why did the black man go to church? Because his father died.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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When I eat Mi Familia Mexica food, it burns when I go to the bathroom. Is that bad?

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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Whats worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Noticing the apple is oversized and finding half of a dead baby.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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