A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

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What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

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Tony Romo

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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a blind man walks off a cliff..... he's dead now.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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What did the Holocaust survivor say when asked about their memories in the deathcamps? A: I'd rather not think about it.

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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What did the follower of Neronism say to the follower of Christianity? Nothing, Neronism doesn't exist. -KyuremCult

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your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

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A Jew walks into a furnace.. The bartender says "What'll you have?" The Jew wonders why there is a bartender in this furnace, then they die.

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

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Your mother is so fat. But I'm fine with it.

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Bro my d*ck is like 20 inches. That's not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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