Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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two men are sitting in a desk next to each other learning math when the equation 22+1 came up. the frist man says to the second, "24" and they both giggled. the second guy then slips his lips over the the first guy and whispers, "hey, i just thought of something funnier than 24" to which the first replies with a slight of laughter, "lemme hear it." so the second says with laughter "25".

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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I am reading the Terms of Service, however I don't fully agree with it's contents.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

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Roses are red violets are blue when i flush the toilet i see you :)

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Its easy they said, just type your text below they said, so I did

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What do you do with a Jewish kid with add( attention deficits disorder)? Send him to a concentration camp

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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whats the best part of having sex with twenty-three year olds? there's twenty of them.

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Did you hear about the man who thought his wife was trying to kill him? He's dead.

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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What is black, white, and red all over? Rape.

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Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

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Your mommas so fat, that she's really big.

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Bumsniffer

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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black people

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, orange!

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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