A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

YO FACE

what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock. Knock. Whos there? Not Sarah.

A man looks both ways before crossing the street he gets hit by an airplane

Why was the 3 year old high He was flying

knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

What was the energizer bunny arrested for? Rape.

boner

Roses are red, Bacon is red, Poems are hard, Bacon

What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot, racist.

Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

What do you call a blind person? Mack Despard

your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

How did little Jimmy survive the 20 story fall? He couldn't he died from the last fall, aren't you paying attention?

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why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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