I died shortly after writing this.

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What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

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Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

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The WNBA

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Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic, so to make his activities in the bar into a joke would be disrespectful and inconsiderate.

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Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

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ive got it ive got ive got outsimers to tonight wow bim bim bub bub za za

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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