Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

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Your mom as so fat that I'm gonna give you the name of this doctor because I really care for you...... And don't want to see you so stressed because she is so fat.

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Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

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What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

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People used to throw rocks at whores. Now they're throwing wood. *Hint. Hint.*

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What did the bowl of cereal say? Can I have some milk?

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What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

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What do you call a woman with no arms or legs that fell off a boat fucked

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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In Soviet Russia, table flip you! ???? ? /(. - . \?

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops