Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

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Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? Bananas don't scream as much when you peel them.

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What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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So a Quadriplegic walks into a bar.....

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

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What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

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A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

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Eat My Food!!! Joking I dont have any food

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Corn Muffins

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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me. Me Who? Me. Uh.

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-What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? -Slap HER!

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

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If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does anyone really care?

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

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What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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