Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

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Jimmy went to a bar, to see a stand up comedian, he heard the standup comedian tell a funny joke, so after the show, he went home and told his wife the joke and after that he said, i made that up, im funny arent i, the wife seemed shifty, so she googled the joke and found the stand up comedians joke, giggled and then proceeded to continue back angrily to Jimmy, because he just did the wrong thing, she slapped Jimmy in the face, divorced Jimmy and killed his 3 children because Jimmy plagurised, and plagurism is illegal, and now Jimmy has no children, and a red mark on his cheek and knows he did the wrong thing don't smoke kids

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What did the explorer say to the new species Oh look it says squirtle let's call it squirtle Oh look it say woof let's call it poochyena

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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It is so hard to write an antijoke.

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There's two people, one wearing a nice sweater and the other is not. The one without has to walk the dog, so he asks the other guy if he can have his sweater. He says "No but you can wear it."

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? I don't know it really depends on the car, usually about 2 in the front, 3 in the back and... That's about it

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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Whats an Anti-Joke? Funny

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Q: what did the nazi say to the other nazi A: hallo

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Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

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I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

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You’re so dumb that many individuals find your intelligence inferior.

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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