What do you call 99 lawyers in a car going off a cliff with no driver and another lawyer running in the other direction? A dick move.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's large, green, and pissed off? The dumpster out back

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

thumb_up thumb_down +47

In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did little Mindy Granger find on her paper route? Human teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

"Penis, penis, penis..." says Chase. That is all he likes and he fondles horse testes.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q; What is pink and has 2 legs? A: Not a lot of things, but a Flamingo is the closest thing that I could think of if you do not count the beak eyes and feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

thumb_up thumb_down +39

You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops