Canadians

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

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Why does Ron Weasley have friends? He does't. He's a ginger.

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What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

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How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

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What does Snoop dog wash his clothes with Bleach

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What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

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Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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Q : whats the most annoying thing on the earth with a big fore head ? A : Paige

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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So it was 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar......I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ended up getting nuked

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Hey Lamar, guess what. No Oh ok haha Otarts was here

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

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A moose walks into a grocery store. It goes up to the clerk and asks, "do you guys have any potatoes?" the clerk replies oh yeah they're in isle... Ooooh wait a second. You're a moose. The moose responds, "Yes, indeed I am." The clerk then says "Oh ok, isle seven."

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Three girls are eating icecream one girl sucks on her icecream the second girl licks on her icecream and the third girl bites on her icecream. Q: Which of the three girls is married? A: The girl with the wedding ring.

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What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

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Q: why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A: because it was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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