So two clowns walk into a bar... . . . . . . . . . . They died

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

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Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The inter- You have cancer

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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Q; What is pink and has 2 legs? A: Not a lot of things, but a Flamingo is the closest thing that I could think of if you do not count the beak eyes and feet.

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Twenty-Four

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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