A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He got hurt.

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You wanna hear a joke? Me too

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What did Abraham lincoln do after getting assassinated? Certainly not riding a bike thats for sure.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin.

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What is pink and smells like red paint? Pink paint

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whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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How do you stop a bus You throw a fridge at it

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Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

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Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

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square circles have souls but gingers do not CC

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A black guy walks into a KKK meeting. He is burnt on a cross outside his families house. They will mourn his death for years to come

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Why did the police officer arrest the black guy? Because the guy was black and the police officer was racist.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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Yo mama smells so bad that she has no friends and killed herself.

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What do you call a donkey that can't speak? Whatever you want to call it...I prefer to call it a donkey that can't speak!

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Adam Chebali goes to war and is quickly killed. The rest of the world rejoices as he can no longer post anti-jokes only he thinks are funny and brag about himself on anti-joke.com.

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A man accidentally forgets his daughter at a Sizzler

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boy: you want to hear something funny? girl: what? boy: women's rights girl: you want to hear something trivial? boy: what? girl: your penis

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What do you call the twin towers? An airport

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Seargent: Quick seal off all the exits so he cant get away. Private: OK 2 minutes later Private: He escaped sir Seargent: What, how Private: through one of the entrances

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Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

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Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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