Did you know that if you stacked enough elephants to reach from the earth to the moon, all those elephants would die?

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

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what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

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knock knock who's there a tiger Alex proceeds to walk away as there is a tiger at his front door. he then calls the police because of the potential danger. the animal control then apprehends the animal and takes it to an enclosure

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why the f*** do so many people ask this question?

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Six hats walk out of a garden. When mustard offal fruit paps.

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What's red and hurts your teeth. Answer: a brick

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Wy did the man fall? A tree fell on his legs!

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Why did the Asian man go to bed? Because he was tired

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How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

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What happens when you shoot a giraffe? It dies.

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Question: How did the chicken get to the other side of the road? Answer: Too find his joint.

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you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

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Whats the greatest part of buttsex the refrigerators

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What has two legs, but cant walk? Steven Hawking

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What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

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What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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knock knock, whos there? your neighbor's cat..no not really, but your sister just got raped

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A: Hey ask me if Im a fire truck? B: Are you a Fire Truck? A: No why would you ask that?

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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