What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

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Chuck Norris is an average human being!

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Did you hear about the deaf kid? He didn't.

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i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

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What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

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How do you spell eight? 8

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What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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there is a woman named shannen. she is happily married and has children.

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What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

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Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

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charlie sheen losing

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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A man walks into a bar and brings a Snickers. He gets a beer, eats the candy, and leaves leaving the wrapper. The bartender is angry with the littering but cleans it up and serves another customer.

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Not much, that would not be so great.

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If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

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knock knock who's there doctor doctor who No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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