Why did the Asian guy's condom slip? Because the condom was put on the opposite way.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the spider cross the road? He was stuck to the bottom of my shoe!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

my gramma died

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you fit 1000 Jews into a car? You can't. You'd need a much larger vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mom is a whore bitchy virgin

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? names.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What would you get if you crosses a potato and a frog? Nothing because potatoes cannot breed with animals

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. How do you stop a clown from smiling? A. You hit it in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops