Sometimes I hope into bed and pretend I'm a carrot!!!!

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Two Iranians walk into an airport They show their passports and proceed to fly to their home in Minnesota

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Women's rights.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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A newborn, an infant, a teenager, a person in their 20s, a person in the 40s, a person in their 60s, a person in their 70s, a person in their 80s, and a little old lady who is about 105 walk into a bar. Wait, infants can't walk.

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Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

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what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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What did the retarded asian dolphin eat for breakfast? A big bowl of shit

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Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

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The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

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What's the difference between a muffin and a scone? One's a muffin.

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What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

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What is small, black, and loved by children? An oreo.

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What do you call a black man with a hoe? A farmer.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog.

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roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

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one time there was a fukc then it taked a shat potated pancocks cancer is fuCk 18 why did the cock cross the choad? fUcK

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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Why did the man name his son David? He didn't. It was his wife's choice.

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Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

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a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

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why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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