What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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The Bible

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

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"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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