Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

What does 1+1 equal? 2

what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

Why is your face? Because.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

Who has the biggest cock A rooster

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

^that joke's not funny

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

Why did the moron jump through the window?

Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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