In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

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What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than The Holocaust? TEN HOLOCAUSTS? What's worse then TEN HOLOCAUSTS? THE END OF THE WORLD

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What do you call a black man climbing a mountain. A mountain climber.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Sally with prosthetic arms.

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What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

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Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

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Chicken

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

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Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

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What's worse then breaking your xbox? Going on a 24 kill streak and having itchy balls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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