Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

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why am I writing this...im bored

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your mum. Your mum who? Dinner is ready, come down stairs.

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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What do you call a black man walking towards you with a gun? A defibrillator.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was black

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

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Why did Gus go to the HC? Because he got high off his ass.

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Wha'ts the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

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While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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What did the monkey say to dog Foreskin

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 is a serial killer.

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why did katy fall off her bike?

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THEY SAY SEEING IS BELIEVING. I NEVER SAW 9/11! 9/11? NEVER HAPPENED -Jonathan

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I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

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why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

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What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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