OY SHIT ITS YOUR MOM!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

girls lacrosse

thumb_up thumb_down +18

There once was a man from Nantucket But then he moved to Boston and changes his name to "man from Boston"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the cute baby start crying?? because its feet were eaten by rats.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two penguins are sitting on an ice flow. One says to the other: "hey--you know, it looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other one says, "who says I'm not?"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney? Nothing chimneys don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Cripples are lame.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Theres a man with 2 eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Can a man reproduce with only one testicle? No because girls don't dig that sh*t

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call dominic rolling down a hill?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"Hey, why won't you let me through?" "These tickets are fake." "No they aren't. LOOK OVER THERE!" The guard turns around, and then turns back. Minorly inconvenienced, he arrests the man immediately, upon which he is sent to jail and anally raped multiple times.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Where do pimps go when they retire? Idaho.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops