Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: What is the difference between a Ginger and a shoe? A: A shoe has a sole

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Type 2 diabetics

thumb_up thumb_down +36

8

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the potato commit suicide? Forget that. Why was the potato alive in the first place?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

One day a cheerio is walking down the street. Nothing special, just a regular cheerio. Suddenly, he sees a honey-coated cheerio. Now, honey-coated cheerios have a much higher social status than regular cheerios. So he decides that he wants to become a honey- coated cheerio. He works really, really hard and one day his boss promotes him to a honey-coated cheerio. So, he's really pleased about this, he can easily pay his rent, he gets a nice car, and his family is much happier. But then, as he's driving around the town, he sees a sugar-coated cheerio. Now, sugar-coated cheerios are preety much at the top of society. They're all highly regarded and respected. So he decides that he wants to become a sugar-coated cheerio. He works really, really hard for months and months, until one day his boss decides that he can become a sugar-coated cheerio. He is absolutely stoked with this. He gets a bigger house with a swimming pool and a spa, really nice clothes, and he's very well respected. One day, he's sun bathing at the beach, when off in the distance he sees an island that he had never seen before. Apparently, this is the golden cheerio island. Cheerios there fly around in jet cars and lounge around in bars. It's cheerio heaven. So he decides that if he becomes a golden cheerio, his life will be complete. He dedicates his life to working really, incredibly hard, and one day his boss says to him, "You know what, you've worked so hard that I'm promoting you to a golden cheerio." So he makes it to the cheerio island, and as he is lying down, relaxing, he suddenly becomes very thirsty. All cheerios really like milk so he goes to get some, but there's a really long line at the milk stand. So he decides to get some lemonade, but like the milk stand, there's a really long line at the lemonade stand. So he thinks, "I know what no-one will want. Punch!" So he goes to the punch stand and sure enough there's no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

The shopkeeper said to a customer, "It's raining cats and dogs!" The customer said, "Okay, I'll take eight of them."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

There was once a joke without a proper ending and so

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I was Writing and i broke my pencil

thumb_up thumb_down +32

So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock Knock Who's there? A mormon *slam*

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the children in India eat for dinner?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops