Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Yo mama so fat, she farts dust

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Loading....please wait.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's another word for a priest? Rapist

thumb_up thumb_down +30

(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

An American man stopped me the other day and asked for the time, I looked at my watch and said: 5 o'clock.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

hihihihihihihihihihiihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihjhihhhihhihihihihihihiihihihihihihihihihihihihiihihiihihihihihihihihihihiihihihihiihihihi

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies? nothing, they're both overused anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops