Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

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What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

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Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Yo momma's so fat, her lifespan is probably going to be very short and you will have to bury her soon.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your moms face is turning purple. I'm coming for you.

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Kendall and Nick Fredick

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Why didn't the poor man buy a candy bar? He wasn't hungry.

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what did the dog say? dogs can't talk therefore he said nothing

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck. What starts with P and ends in ORN? Popcorn. What starts with S and ends in HIT? Shit.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? Sitting on a black man is just plain rude.

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If your flying upstream in a kayak and a wheel flys off, how many pancakes can fit into a dog house? None, because ice-cream is alergic to frogs!

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Q: What is the likely outcome of anyone who watches 'WWE'? A: They will lose their virginity to a hooker.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? She had no friends.

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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Q. Why did Mary fall down the steps? A. Because she had no legs.

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How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

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Roses are red Violets are blue your mum is fat and so are you

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Hi is the longest two letter word in the world

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What is red and itchy? Something that itches and it turns red if you itch it to much

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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How come Emmet Till never attended college? Because he was brutally murdered.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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