How many one does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The Holocaust.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

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Why did the black guy drown in the river?? unfortunately he owed 10,000 dollars to a loan shark and couldnt pay his dues So he was tied to an anchor and put in the river.

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What do you call a black man yelling into a crowd? a preacher

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Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

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John Katzenbach were drinking a soda... He is the author of The Psicoanalist

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I just painted my nails. I have braces.

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BBC have a new porn channel. C Boobies...

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. A. Knock, Knock! B. Who's There? Not Suzie.

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so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a joke.

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When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

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Kesley Ioannou not shopping.

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What is white and is sometimes drunk? Milk.

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How do you get 100 illegal immigrants into a furnace? Tell 'em it's England.

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How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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Why did the kid fall over? He was hit by a car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops