I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I beat my family.

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THERES AN APP FOR ANTI JOKES ? now thats not funny !

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2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

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Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? It's not. Numbers are not living organisms and thus are incapable of experiencing emotion.

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Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Welcome To Facebook

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a bat and the others a watermelon

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Why wasn't Fred invited to he party? Because he's been dead for five years

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How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

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A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

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Can you guess the following words? Boo*s s*x *orn g*y cu*t b*tch Answers: Books, six, horn, guy, cult, batch.

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Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

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Why was the Asian women crossing 8 lanes of traffic with no blinker? Poor chink had a seizure.

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Knock Knock And then I looked through the peephole and I saw it was the handyman that was going to fix my leaky sink so I opened the door

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you....you pull the pin and trow it back

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What do a jew and a black have in common? God hates both of them

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock. who's there? well, its not suzie.

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A Jew, homosexual and Irishman walk into a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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