Michael Hoffman leaves the gym

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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What did the black cat say to the tabby cat?? Meow

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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Whats worse then being raped? Nothing it will ruin your life.

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why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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What's funny about 4 black people going off a cliff in a Cadillac? Nothing. You're adopted

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What do you call a black person with food stamps? A freeloader.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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What's the difference between a girl's mouth and her vagina? There is none. I want my penis to be inside both of those things.

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How do you get 10 babies out of a blender? Potato Chips! Stupid!!!!

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Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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I have two hands. Some people dont.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops