Why can't Helen Keller hear? She's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did Susie fall off the swing - because she had no arms Knock Knock Who is it Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +38

democracy

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a black man that robs a bank? A bank robber

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Society.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call six million jews? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Baby you think i loved you, but you got played too

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops