Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qg6AkhIYVs

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Bring him to shore and, if you are certified, perform cpr.

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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a dog walks into a drug store and orders a bone. what does the cashier do? she wakes up.

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Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

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you are gay

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? A black Russian.

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What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

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one fish two fish red fish kill the fish

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"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

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What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

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Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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