why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

Why Did the throw up He was sick

Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

2 people lived next door to each other. The man said "hi" and so did the other man. What is wrong with this situation. Nothing, just friendly neighbors.

A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot you racist BITCH! Its ok a niggah gots altititude.

What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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