So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +15

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops