Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Atheism

thumb_up thumb_down -36

if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

thumb_up thumb_down -38

This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

thumb_up thumb_down -40

there is a fat ass bitch who lives in littlefield TX, her name...Krista. her facebook.... NannyGrizzly. I hate her!!! with a pasion... she was my neighbor... i can hear her yelling all the time. Please... someone give her a reason to yell. .................Facebook..........Nannygrizzly.......do....something.....about.......her.... thank you. Ima TROLE!!!!! hahahahaahhhahahahahahahaahha. damn it. (: v P PS. she is a bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -40

An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

knock knock come in ok!!!!! ur an elephant oh ya i guess im not suppose to talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops