Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops