Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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What did the black man get his mom for Mother's Day? Some jewelry and a very nice card.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops