What is better than tissues? Correct!

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what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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