Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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