teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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knock knock who's there funny funny who a funny joke

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Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

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Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

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Why was the camel sad he wasnt, camels dont have feelings

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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